Some parents feel badly about their separation in view of the kids and are reluctant to follow through with expectations or alternately; they try to buy their children’s affection with toys or favors.
These parents may think they are compensating for the child’s distress over the separation, but they are really trying to assuage their own guilt. While the kids may enjoy the shower of gifts and special liberties, this only gives rise to self-righteousness – a sense of entitlement where they think they can have whatever they want and rules don’t apply. Even though parental separation may be distressful, it can be overcome. A developing sense of self-righteousness can lead to selfish, self-centered, out of control children and can last a lifetime.
Parents are well advised to continue parenting on the as if principal. That is to say, they parent as if they were still together – not separated. The same rules, routines, limits and expectations apply; there are no special favors and no purchasing of extra toys and games. If the children are distressed, parents should talk with them and normalize their upset, not let them get away with inappropriate behavior or compensate with inappropriate favors or gifts.
Even if one or other parent appears to not heed this advise, this is no reason for both parents to let go of appropriate parenting. Kids need at least one responsible parent who will teach right from wrong, set limits and routines and won’t spoil the child with a shower of gifts.
If parents are concerned that their child will complain or use the difference to manipulate them to grant favors as the other, these parents must still stand their ground. The solution is not to run down the other parent for spoiling the child, but rather to concentrate on being appropriate parents themselves.
To continue reading this article, click here.
For more information, contact the Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at www.familylawmarin.com
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Monday, January 25, 2010
Divorce and Text Messages
The National Law Journal
The unfaithful, in particular, are paying a high price in divorce court for their salacious text messages. Infidelity, bad parenting or threats -- you name the issue in marital disputes, family law attorneys say, and the evidence can be found in text messages sent over hand-held gadgets.
For more information please contact: The Law Office of Renee Marcelle 415-456-4444 or visit us online at: familylawmarin.com
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The unfaithful, in particular, are paying a high price in divorce court for their salacious text messages. Infidelity, bad parenting or threats -- you name the issue in marital disputes, family law attorneys say, and the evidence can be found in text messages sent over hand-held gadgets.
For more information please contact: The Law Office of Renee Marcelle 415-456-4444 or visit us online at: familylawmarin.com
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Divorce and Text Messages
The National Law Journal
The unfaithful, in particular, are paying a high price in divorce court for their salacious text messages. Infidelity, bad parenting or threats -- you name the issue in marital disputes, family law attorneys say, and the evidence can be found in text messages sent over hand-held gadgets.
For more information please contact: The Law Office of Renee Marcelle 415-456-4444 or visit us online at: familylawmarin.com
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The unfaithful, in particular, are paying a high price in divorce court for their salacious text messages. Infidelity, bad parenting or threats -- you name the issue in marital disputes, family law attorneys say, and the evidence can be found in text messages sent over hand-held gadgets.
For more information please contact: The Law Office of Renee Marcelle 415-456-4444 or visit us online at: familylawmarin.com
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Privacy and Social Networking Sites
To protect yourself on social networking sites, you must begin by recognizing that the integrity of your account on any Web site may be compromised. Once something is available online, it is no longer private. Your seemingly private profile may be accessed by any number of people, in many different ways.
Your soon-to-be ex-spouse may know your standard passwords or may be able to answer your security questions. Although few would debate that such invasions of privacy are unacceptable, people sometimes make bad decisions in the midst of divorce. It is best to be prepared for all contingencies, including the possibility that your future ex-spouse will look places he or she should not. Make sure that you are using strong passwords that are difficult to guess, with challenging security questions.
Furthermore, although many social networking sites provide privacy controls, this privacy can be little more than illusory. For example, if everyone in your network is allowed to see your profile, and your network includes a company or a city or a school, your profile may be available to thousands of people you do not know. If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are both members of the "San Francisco" network, you may be able to see each other's profiles despite the fact that you have eliminated your direct online connections. When preparing for divorce, check your privacy settings; make sure that you have narrowed the scope of your networks to those people you really want to have access to your profile.
Even if your passwords are secure and your privacy settings are restricted, any person that you provide access to your profile may leak information to your future ex-spouse. Most married couples have friends in common, and these friendships are likely to extend into online social networking services. These mutual friends may share information without understanding the consequences of such disclosures.
For more information please contact the Law Office of Renee Marcelle: 415-456-4444 or visit us online at familylawmarin.com
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Your soon-to-be ex-spouse may know your standard passwords or may be able to answer your security questions. Although few would debate that such invasions of privacy are unacceptable, people sometimes make bad decisions in the midst of divorce. It is best to be prepared for all contingencies, including the possibility that your future ex-spouse will look places he or she should not. Make sure that you are using strong passwords that are difficult to guess, with challenging security questions.
Furthermore, although many social networking sites provide privacy controls, this privacy can be little more than illusory. For example, if everyone in your network is allowed to see your profile, and your network includes a company or a city or a school, your profile may be available to thousands of people you do not know. If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are both members of the "San Francisco" network, you may be able to see each other's profiles despite the fact that you have eliminated your direct online connections. When preparing for divorce, check your privacy settings; make sure that you have narrowed the scope of your networks to those people you really want to have access to your profile.
Even if your passwords are secure and your privacy settings are restricted, any person that you provide access to your profile may leak information to your future ex-spouse. Most married couples have friends in common, and these friendships are likely to extend into online social networking services. These mutual friends may share information without understanding the consequences of such disclosures.
For more information please contact the Law Office of Renee Marcelle: 415-456-4444 or visit us online at familylawmarin.com
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Friday, January 22, 2010
Social Websites Becoming New Tool For Lawyers Seeking Information
The personal information people post on Web sites like MySpace, Facebook and Twitter is becoming a new weapon in the family lawyer's arsenal as more people make connections via social networking services.
Daniel R. Victor, of the Law Offices of Victor and Victor PLLC in Bloomfield Hills, said social networking sites have become a source of evidence in the custody and divorce proceedings his firm specializes in.
He said people are less than cautious about what kinds of information they post on these sites and that can cause problems for them in court.
For example, Victor said, "I was involved in a custody case where the father was accusing the mother of alienating their child from him by getting him to believe her boyfriend was the father. She denied it. We accessed her Facebook page and there were pictures of the child and the boyfriend titled, 'child and father.'"
There have been other custody cases where a parent's claims of propriety and worthiness have been undermined by pictures of him or her drunk and partying - pictures that parent often posted online personally. Access to these pages and their information can be compelled via subpoena, but often that's not required.
"There was a case where a father created a profile built to deceive his wife into thinking he was another friend," he said. "He went so far as to create a fake network of her friends to complete the picture."
He said the man was able to get access to his wife's page and everything posted there through his deception.
To see the remainder of this article please see link.
http://www.allbusiness.com/society-social/families-children-family-law-child/12600152-1.html
For more information please contact the Law Office of Renee Marcelle. Telephone: 415-456-4444 or visit us online at familylawmarin.com
Daniel R. Victor, of the Law Offices of Victor and Victor PLLC in Bloomfield Hills, said social networking sites have become a source of evidence in the custody and divorce proceedings his firm specializes in.
He said people are less than cautious about what kinds of information they post on these sites and that can cause problems for them in court.
For example, Victor said, "I was involved in a custody case where the father was accusing the mother of alienating their child from him by getting him to believe her boyfriend was the father. She denied it. We accessed her Facebook page and there were pictures of the child and the boyfriend titled, 'child and father.'"
There have been other custody cases where a parent's claims of propriety and worthiness have been undermined by pictures of him or her drunk and partying - pictures that parent often posted online personally. Access to these pages and their information can be compelled via subpoena, but often that's not required.
"There was a case where a father created a profile built to deceive his wife into thinking he was another friend," he said. "He went so far as to create a fake network of her friends to complete the picture."
He said the man was able to get access to his wife's page and everything posted there through his deception.
To see the remainder of this article please see link.
http://www.allbusiness.com/society-social/families-children-family-law-child/12600152-1.html
For more information please contact the Law Office of Renee Marcelle. Telephone: 415-456-4444 or visit us online at familylawmarin.com
Divorce and Facebook
Interesting article from "Switch":
Besides helping "you connect and share with the people in your life," Facebook, apparently, helps you split up with them, too. That's at least what a recent report in The Telegraph suggests, citing the increasing number of divorce filings that implicate the social networking site. It seems that Facebook and its kin make cheating on spouses easier, more tempting, and, by the same token, more traceable. According to one U.K. law firm, one out of every five of its divorce cases cite Facebook as one of the driving forces behind the split. The incidents seem to run the gamut from the banal (a husband having an illicit online affair) to the outright ridiculous (a woman finding out that her marriage had ended after reading her husband's relationship status update).
We're not sure that there's really a whole lot of blame to put on Facebook in this case. Yeah, the site makes it easier to get in touch with old flames, and sure, it's the most prominent means of "networking" these days. But is it really all that different from getting caught with lipstick on your collar, or even with an SMS card full of naughty text messages? Besides, as the article says, the divorce rate in the U.K. has actually decreased over the past few years. There's no way to really isolate a pure "Facebook effect" one way or the other, so we'll just take a deep sigh, shrug our shoulders, and borrow a line from Facebook's script: "It's complicated." [From: The Telegraph]
For more information, contact the Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at www.familylawmarin.com
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Besides helping "you connect and share with the people in your life," Facebook, apparently, helps you split up with them, too. That's at least what a recent report in The Telegraph suggests, citing the increasing number of divorce filings that implicate the social networking site. It seems that Facebook and its kin make cheating on spouses easier, more tempting, and, by the same token, more traceable. According to one U.K. law firm, one out of every five of its divorce cases cite Facebook as one of the driving forces behind the split. The incidents seem to run the gamut from the banal (a husband having an illicit online affair) to the outright ridiculous (a woman finding out that her marriage had ended after reading her husband's relationship status update).
We're not sure that there's really a whole lot of blame to put on Facebook in this case. Yeah, the site makes it easier to get in touch with old flames, and sure, it's the most prominent means of "networking" these days. But is it really all that different from getting caught with lipstick on your collar, or even with an SMS card full of naughty text messages? Besides, as the article says, the divorce rate in the U.K. has actually decreased over the past few years. There's no way to really isolate a pure "Facebook effect" one way or the other, so we'll just take a deep sigh, shrug our shoulders, and borrow a line from Facebook's script: "It's complicated." [From: The Telegraph]
For more information, contact the Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at www.familylawmarin.com
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Job Loss and Child Support
Parents who have seperated and moved in different directions are sharing the pains of the recession together.
When one parent loses a job and can no longer afford to pay child support, the whole family is affected and this is becoming more and more common. Unemployment's rise to over 10 percent is making it impossible for many parents to make child support payments and has been reflected in a nationwide trend in petitions for reduced payments or requests for modification of child and/or spousal support.
In addition, most people who are currently losing their jobs are unemployed for at least six months. Another trend shows that men have been disproportionally hit by the downturns impact on industries such as manufacturing and construction. This is critical because women are typically the custodial parent and depend on child support from their former husbands to get by.
This is particularily interesting because three years ago before the the economy started to slow, most requests for change in child support were seeking an increase rather than a reduction.
If your financial situation changes and you can't meet your support payments, call your attorney or the state child support agency to start the review process.
For more information, contact the Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at www.familylawmarin.com
When one parent loses a job and can no longer afford to pay child support, the whole family is affected and this is becoming more and more common. Unemployment's rise to over 10 percent is making it impossible for many parents to make child support payments and has been reflected in a nationwide trend in petitions for reduced payments or requests for modification of child and/or spousal support.
In addition, most people who are currently losing their jobs are unemployed for at least six months. Another trend shows that men have been disproportionally hit by the downturns impact on industries such as manufacturing and construction. This is critical because women are typically the custodial parent and depend on child support from their former husbands to get by.
This is particularily interesting because three years ago before the the economy started to slow, most requests for change in child support were seeking an increase rather than a reduction.
If your financial situation changes and you can't meet your support payments, call your attorney or the state child support agency to start the review process.
For more information, contact the Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at www.familylawmarin.com
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