Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Parents' divorce Is Hard On Kids — No Matter How Old

Question: My wife and I have talked about divorce for years. Now that our kids are 13 and 14, we really do not agree on parenting and we are thinking about making the break, but we wonder if we shouldn't wait until the younger is 18 and off to college.
Answer: Battling parents often ask us what we think about waiting "for the kids' sake," and we will tell you what kids have told us: Most kids, no matter their age, vote against their parents' breakup. The exception: when one parent has been subjected to violence, addiction or mental illness. Older kids understand infidelity as a reason, but younger kids have no concept of infidelity, so discussing it with them as a reason for the breakup just confuses an already confused child.
Don't bet waiting will make it easier on your kids. Eighteen is only a number arbitrarily assigned to adulthood – many kids really struggle with the changes associated with taking the next step after graduating from high school. Many have told us stories of desperation the first time they returned home from college for the holidays after Mom and Dad separated. Nothing was the same...

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For more information, contact the Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at www.familylawmarin.com

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