Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Grey Divorce: Letting Go and Starting Over

For some folks divorce is a liberating experience while for others it is a complete shock. Yet, today, there is a growing trend among older folks who are taking the divorce plunge in their later years. Growing more prevalent in the lives of those who are over the age of 55, “Grey Divorce” is seen more and more in cultures around the world. Although it is common to think that married couples that have been together for years and years have gotten past their relationship issues, many of those couples are now choosing to get divorced. Apparently, because we are living longer lives, both men and women are reaching out for a more meaningful existence. Regardless of age, a number of older folks still want to find satisfaction and fulfillment and are letting go and starting over. What’s even more interesting about the ending of these marriages is that many of those who are seeking later life divorce, still love and respect their former partners, but they are just ready to move on.

Women Seeking Divorce in Higher Numbers
Are you one of those people who have been in a long-term marriage and have now decided to get a divorce? Perhaps you were married at a young age and have found that as you matured and developed, you and your partner grew apart. Or you recognize that something vital is missing between you and your partner. Well, it’s never too late to change your mind. Surprising statistics given by the US Human Resources Services Administration show that Americans over the age of 55 are divorcing in higher numbers than ever before. In fact, census figures show that divorce among those over age 65 has doubled since 1980. And a recent, nation-wide study carried out by the American Association of Retired Persons suggests that women from older couple marriages between the ages of 40 and 80 seek divorce in higher numbers than men.

A Desire for Freedom, Identity and Fulfillment
So, what’s behind this new phenomenon known as Grey Divorce and why are so many men and women succumbing to divorce after decades of marriage? The reasons vary between men and women, but according to some studies, women state they have finally reached a breaking point and they are just no longer willing to live with or deal with certain behaviors. Whether it is due to having endured alcohol or drug addiction, physical or emotional abuse, infidelity, or simply being unfulfilled, many women are leaving relationships that cause them dissatisfaction. And although we often hear about men leaving partners for younger women, many men, who are opting for late life divorce, say that they are bored and unfulfilled. Most of the older men who are leaving long-term partners are interested in finding ways to experience more life and in fact, the majority of them say they want an opportunity to meet someone who can give life more meaning.
StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.


For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

How Do You Know If It Is Time for a Divorce?

Sad to say, but many people stay in a marriage far longer than they should. Yes, marriage is supposed to be for life, but in truth, not every marriage is a good one and life is short, so if your marriage is going nowhere and you’ve tried everything to make it work, it may be time to consider divorce.

What Holds People Back From Divorcing?
In most cases, the reasons people stay together when they know that the marriage is over, is simply because they’re afraid of being alone. They may have been together for a long time and can’t imagine what life would be like without the other person. Sometimes it’s just plain old fear and insecurity. We’ve been taught that once we marry, we’re supposed to stay in the marriage, regardless of how miserable we might be in the situation. Other times people stay in a marriage for the sake of the children, but here again, if the marriage is over, the children are going to grow up in a home where the parents don’t really love each other. Is that what we want to teach our children?

What To Consider When Thinking About Divorce
If you are thinking about divorce and are simply not sure what to do, there are some things to consider that might act as a gauge in determining whether it’s time to move on. As you start to observe your situation, pay attention to some of the signs that indicate it’s time to go. For example, if you have tried everything many times over to fix your marriage, yet nothing changes, it may be time for a divorce. If your relationship is no longer meeting your needs and the majority of time you feel discouraged and frustrated about your relationship it’s probably time to leave. If you don’t enjoy each other’s company and you prefer to do things without your partner, you should consider ending the marriage. If you feel that none of your true needs are being met and you find yourself constantly trying to explain yourself to your partner, but you don’t ever seem to be heard, it’s probably wise to consider divorce.
StraightDivorce

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.


For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

How to Handle The Stress of Divorce

It’s very clear that getting a divorce is a very stressful situation. No one needs to be reminded that anytime a big change occurs, the human approach is to resist. And regardless of the fact that people realize that it’s time for a divorce, it still is an extremely difficult challenge. So, what is it about divorce that makes it so hard? Obviously, you are being asked to establish a new identity as a single individual or you are facing the loss of an important relationship that you have known for a long time. However you choose to look at it, you have to alter your life. And not everyone experiences change in the same way. For some, the divorce can be overwhelming and so they cling to the possibility that maybe the relationship can be saved. For others, the idea of being alone weakens their sense of security. We are in fact creatures of habit and so we become attached to a way of life even when we have outgrown it.

Time To Reflect
Many of us think that as we go through the divorce, we’ll be prepared to handle all the different feelings and emotions. Yet, in truth there are some emotions and feelings that come as a surprise. Whether you’re the one that has chosen divorce or if the divorce decision was made for you, the dissolution of a marriage is painful to say the least and calls forth a lot of different feelings. Yes, it is very stressful when facing divorce, but when we’re forced to stretch ourselves, we become stronger people. After all, aren’t the struggles we face in life, the things that make us become who we truly are?

Can Divorce Offer a New Opportunity?
Perhaps divorce provides us with an opportunity that few people consider. Not to sound cliché, but the breakdown of a marriage provides us with the chance to create a better and stronger life as well as a better relationship with a future partner. How? If we’ve learned anything from a marriage that ends in divorce, we become more careful in our choices. We pay attention to things that happen early on in a new relationship and rather than dismissing it, we take it into account.
StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Post Divorce Modifications

Generally speaking, after a divorce has been finalized, things pretty much remain exactly as the divorce decree stipulates, yet there are times when after the divorce is finalized people seek post-divorce modifications. The reasons for these modifications are many. Perhaps one person has not met his or her responsibilities based on the divorce agreement. Maybe one spouse wants to leave the state. Or potentially, one parent has lost his or her job. When a person’s living conditions or financial situations change dramatically after a divorce, and they are unable to meet their responsibilities, or if a spouse appears to be a threat to the children, either the custodial or non-custodial parent may request post divorce modification.

Divorce Modifications Usually Involve Custody and Support Issues
While the majority of divorce modifications usually involve custodial or support issues of children, there are times when provision of alimony as well as property agreements and debt distribution need to be modified. In any of these situations, if you have gotten a divorce, but find that things have changed significantly, you may need to inquire about modifying some of the decisions regarding child support, visitation, child custody orders or alimony. Consequently, if you find yourself facing any of these types of circumstances, you should consult with a divorce attorney who can help you with post divorce modifications to the original divorce decree.

Significant Changes After Divorce
Let’s suppose the court has ordered a parent to pay a certain amount of child support but their financial situation has changed. How does the parent go about making modifications to the agreement? And how does the court address these situations? For any parent who wants or needs to make a modification, the first step is showing the reason for the request. In other words, circumstances for the party seeking the modification must have changed significantly since the original order was entered.
StraightStaff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Divorce and Income Tax Filings

Getting a divorce is never an easy experience and often entails an array of complex situations. Income tax is one of those situations that can cause turmoil around finances, property and child custody issues, so although you’ve made the decision to end the marriage, both the husband and wife are still legally responsible for all tax liabilities that have been incurred.

Marital Status on the Last Day of the Tax Year
Just when you thought you’ve turned a corner, and your marriage is finally over, here comes tax time. This is where it could get tricky and you could find your situation even more complicated. If you are getting ready to file for divorce, before you do anything you should know that divorce, annulment and even separation will very likely cause difficulties when it comes to filing your tax return. In fact, your marital status on the last day of the tax year determines your income tax filing status for that tax year. To grasp the full effect divorce can have on your taxes, you should consult both a divorce attorney and a tax advisor about your financial situation before you do anything. Without the help of both, you could find yourself in financial trouble.

The Impact of Taxes on Divorce
Divorce generally affects several tax issues and may impact on your tax return if property is transferred between spouses or when the property is used for a different purpose after the divorce. By way of example, suppose while you were married you had a vehicle that was used for business purposes. Then after the divorce it’s no longer used for your business. If that’s the case, it could have tax consequences that must be addressed on your taxes. In another scenario, if a spouse receives alimony or spousal support, it is considered income to the receiving spouse and can be deducted on income taxes by the spouse paying the alimony.
StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, kindly click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Are You Financially Prepared In Case You Get Divorced?

A Stanford University study on the effects of divorce revealed that the standard of living for women drops tremendously in the first year after a divorce. That’s pretty surprising to learn in this day and age, yet, so very true. In fact, just recently, a friend of mine mentioned that while she was married her husband had run up a huge amount of debt without her ever knowing about it. Odd as it may sound, even though they had joint bank accounts, she was not aware of what he was doing, at least not until they got divorced. As a result, she’s been left with a lot of debt because she was so unprepared for the worst. The saddest part of it all is that she never even established her own credit rating and yet now she has a bad credit report.

The Impact of Divorce
As amazing as it may seem, even in today’s modern world, many women still believe that once they marry, their husbands will take care of them. What they often neglect to consider is that approximately 1.25 million divorces occur each year, which means more than two and half million people are impacted by divorce and that doesn’t even take into account the children. And more often than not, it’s the women who are left without money to hire a lawyer or handle bills and many are stuck with the dilemma of how they will support themselves after the divorce.

The Things to Consider Before a Divorce Happens!
Regardless of how well you think your marriage is going, it’s never a good idea to leave yourself vulnerable and without financial support. A smart woman makes sure that she has money on hand in the event that she needs to hire a lawyer to represent her if divorce occurs. In fact, every woman should plan for her financial future regardless of her marriage situation. They should have cash on hand for living expenses, lawyer fees and other incidentals that always crop up.
StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Gaining an Edge on the Custody Battle

One of the most painful parts of getting a divorce occurs when the two people have already brought children into the world and have to decide who gets child custody. Child custody issues are usually at the top of the list for debate and cause the most turmoil in the divorce process. When splitting up a family, no matter how much a couple may want out of the marriage, deciding on custody is a terribly difficult decision.

What Exactly Does Custody Entail?
At one time parents shared in all the responsibilities of their children and when considering divorce, all of a sudden both parents are faced with the heartbreaking emotions of who will be the primary caregiver. And although it’s common for mothers to gain custody, more and more fathers in today’s world are choosing to fight for custody. Overall, custody pertains to decision-making authority. Having one parent take sole custody. alleviates concerns regarding the decisions of a child’s life. Custody refers to the person who has the legal right to make the important decisions in the life of a child and addresses most major life issues such as religion, education and health that impact on a child’s life. It also means that the children will live primarily with one parent, although many parents are now opting to share custody. By and large, custody issues cause conflict primarily because most parents want to be in control of where the child lives and how much time the child spends with the parent. For the most part, children do best when each parent plays a role regarding the important factors in the child’s life.

How Custody is Determined
When parents divorce, if there is a fight for custody, a judge will take into account the best interest of the child before making a final decision. Some states have different laws concerning child custody, so when getting a divorce it’s best to check the laws in your particular state. In addition, if both parents have trouble deciding on custody, they should speak with a divorce attorney or mediator who may help them reach a positive agreement.
StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

How the Custodial Parent Is Selected

Rarely does anything cause as much contention as child custody cases. Because custody of minor children (under 18 years of age) often presents major issues, after the divorce, custody of the minor children may have to be divided between the spouses. That division could result in anything from 60/40 time-sharing to a 50/50 time-sharing, to only weekends and summer vacations. If the couple cannot agree on the custodial parent, the court will order a shared arrangement that is appropriate for the children.

The Primary Caretaker
In child custody cases, the primary caretaker becomes an important factor, as the bond between a child and his or her primary caretaker is critical to the child’s successful passage through developmental states. Psychologists strongly encourage the continuation of the “primary caretaker”- child relationship after divorce, as they believe it is vital to the child’s stability. When determining which parent has been the primary caretaker, courts focus on direct care-taking responsibilities, which include grooming, dressing, meal planning, health arrangements and teaching of various skills.

When the Court Makes the Decision
While many couples are happy to be ending their marriages, they are in great stress about losing the day-to-day enjoyment of their children. In fact, child custody and child visitation rights are the most stressful part of a divorce. If parents are able to come to terms regarding child visitation and child custody, a court generally honors the custody agreement.
StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Talking to Your Children About Divorce

We all know that getting a divorce is a terribly hard situation for the couples involved, but there's no doubt that divorce is even harder on the kids, which is why it’s important for parents to handle the situation correctly. What parents say to their children and what they do through the entire divorce process can make a world of difference.
Different Reactions From Different Children

Reactions to a divorce from the children depends a great deal on a child's age, their disposition, and the circumstances surrounding the ending of the marriage. It isn’t uncommon to see kids feeling scared and sad, while other kids become angry. It’s also quite common for children to act up and out because they have so many different feelings going on all at the same time. But parents can help. The first and most important thing that parents can do is to make sure there is as little tension as possible between the parents. As the whole family goes through the divorce, everyone needs to be patient, as each adjusts to the situation. Therefore, it’s crucial at this time that parents answer the children’s questions, respond honestly and pay attention to their children’s concerns. Even if the couple has been unhappy, children want the security of living with both parents. Very often they feel afraid about what’s going to happen to them. This is no time to make it worse by fighting with each other because fighting only adds to the stress the kids are already going through. If not handled well, the trauma of divorce can last for many years to come.
When to Tell Kids About Divorce

Don’t wait to talk to the kids about the divorce. Once you are clear on your plans to divorce, talk to your child about the upcoming decision to separate. It’s not going to be comfortable, so if you can, it’s good to have both parents together when you break the news to the children. You may be tempted to delay telling the children, but it’s usually best if you tell them right away. When you begin to address the situation, don’t blame each other or express feelings of anger towards each other, but instead try to explain why you are divorcing. Consider the age of the child and their ability to handle the situation, before speaking.
By StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Is Your Privacy Protected During Divorce?

Divorce on it’s own is a painful process and something we usually want to keep to ourselves particularly when it comes to the private details concerning finances and personal information. Yet, unfortunately there are people who like to know other people’s business and often use the information against the person. And in today’s high tech world, all it takes is a mere click of a button on your computer and you can gain information about anyone from the local county court clerk’s web site including detailed divorce statistics.
Public Records and Divorce

As just about everyone knows, the court clerks in every state have always kept public records that detail the most intimate and personal aspects of a person’s life and that includes divorce filings. Today, many of the court clerks are making those records available to anyone with an Internet browser which is making it even easier to get names, birth dates, mailing addresses, phone numbers and social security numbers. This type of access allows scammers to use the information for identity theft and given the fact that court records post divorce decrees, it’s now easier than ever to obtain any information about a person’s divorce.
Identity Fraud After Divorce

The crime of identity theft is at epidemic proportions, particularly since we are now able to access social security numbers so easily. Sharing information so readily in public records has become a major problem and is growing in leaps and bounds. Besides using this type of information for identity theft, there have also been reported cases where divorced people’s names are obtained for marketing solicitation. In fact, it was learned recently that a resort that catered to singles was accessing divorce files in an effort to obtain the names of the individuals strictly for marketing purposes. So, although it might be considered beneficial for records to be easily available on the Internet, it interferes with the right to privacy and does not allow one to keep divorce details confidential.
By StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Post Divorce Modifications

Generally speaking, after a divorce has been finalized, things pretty much remain exactly as the divorce decree stipulates, yet there are times when after the divorce is finalized people seek post-divorce modifications. The reasons for these modifications are many. Perhaps one person has not met his or her responsibilities based on the divorce agreement. Maybe one spouse wants to leave the state. Or potentially, one parent has lost his or her job. When a person’s living conditions or financial situations change dramatically after a divorce, and they are unable to meet their responsibilities, or if a spouse appears to be a threat to the children, either the custodial or non-custodial parent may request post divorce modification.
Divorce Modifications Usually Involve Custody and Support Issues

While the majority of divorce modifications usually involve custodial or support issues of children, there are times when provision of alimony as well as property agreements and debt distribution need to be modified. In any of these situations, if you have gotten a divorce, but find that things have changed significantly, you may need to inquire about modifying some of the decisions regarding child support, visitation, child custody orders or alimony. Consequently, if you find yourself facing any of these types of circumstances, you should consult with a divorce attorney who can help you with post divorce modifications to the original divorce decree.
By StraightDivorce Staff

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Family law's new clientele: Internet lovers

A decade after the launch of online dating services, family lawyers are starting to see the first wave of couples who met online.

Some are coming in for prenuptial agreements before marrying. Others are filing for divorce as they seek to sever a romantic knot tied online.

There are no studies determining whether relationships that begin online fare better or worse than any others on a long-term basis.

But Raoul Felder, a prominent New York divorce lawyer, contends that marriages born out of Internet romances are more likely to end in failure.

"Basically, you're dealing with two desperate people who meet each other by the printed word," he said. "There's no truth in packaging in these things. It's a sell job, and it depends on how long you use the product before you determine it's not working."
By Nora Lockwood Tooher

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.
For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Fact Finding on Domestic Violence in Private Law, Children Cases: Preventing Delay - A Suggestion

omestic violence is one of the most troubling issues which family lawyers have to address. This article is concerned with fact finding in private law, children cases where allegations of domestic violence are raised by one parent against the other parent.

On 9th May 2008, a new Practice Direction came into force entitled: “Residence and Contact Orders: Domestic Violence and Harm”. (The Practice Direction was amended on 14th January 2009 but the amendments do not alter the way in which fact finding hearings should be listed.)

This Practice Direction put in place a new set of guidance for courts and practitioners when faced with allegations of domestic violence made by a parent or a child against another parent. With regard to the issue of fact finding hearings in private law proceedings, the Practice Direction makes clear that courts should determine:

“as soon as possible whether it is necessary to conduct a fact-finding hearing in relation to any disputed allegation of domestic violence before it can proceed to consider any final order(s) for residence or contact”.

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Caught in the Middle: Children Involved In Both Family and Immigration Proceedings

Immigration law and policy and family law in the United Kingdom may at first glance be considered quite separate entities. Yet, increasingly, the two jurisdictions are becoming intertwined. Due to myriad factors (process delay, illegality etc) mounting numbers of asylum seekers and refugees, whilst awaiting confirmation of their status, enter into relationships with others, often of British nationality. If these relationships produce children, a tension can arise between:

* The needs of the child to remain with its parents; and
* The needs of a state to control its immigration policy and processes.

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Grandparents and their Status in Family Law

It has long been acknowledged that grandparents have an important role to play in the upbringing of children. Re W (Contact: Application by Grandparent) [1997] 1 FLR 793 in particular noted that contact with a grandparent may be beneficial for children. Statistics prepared by Grandparents Plus in July 2009 showed that approximately one in three families rely on grandparents for child care, rising to 47% of all single parent households. Yet Parliament, through the Children Act 1989, does not single out grandparents for particular rights or recognition simply by virtue of being grandparents.

The figures are striking. Research published by Families Need Fathers, the Grandparents Association and the Family Matters Institute indicates that 42% of grandparents lose contact with their grandchildren when their parents separate. The potential therefore for grandparents to become involved in proceedings for contact and other s8 orders is significant. In terms of public law proceedings, in July 2009 Grandparents Plus reported that 200,000 children were living with their grandparents as kinship carers, and that placement with grandparents was the preferred choice of 65% of parents in the event that they were unable to care for their children.

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Custody Was Legal, But It Wasn't Right

Once upon a time there was a young married couple who had a child. For the first year of the child's life they lived as a traditional family. Mom stayed home with the baby. Dad went to work to earn the money the family needed.

But the young mother was not happy. She wanted to finish her university education and to pursue a career. One day she could not tolerate it any longer. She left her home, her husband and her child to return to school in a different state.

The young father had some difficult times. He hadn't developed his "mothering" skills as well as he had his "fathering" skills. But he loved his child, and he quickly learned how to be a single parent.

For three years he did it all, and he did a wonderful job.

But one day the young father began to notice that his child seemed sad. It got worse as time went on. The child began to play with fire and to hurt small animals. The father took the child to a counselor. The counselor said, "The child misses his mother. The child feels abandoned. The child feels that he must be an awful child for his mother to have gone away. The child is suffering from self-hatred.
by Honorable Anne Kass

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.


For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Children's Parents Rights Often Conflict

At a recent court hearing, I was faced with a divorced mom, a divorced dad, a step-dad and a step-mom---the proverbial "reconstituted family." What they all had in common was a 5-year-old little girl.

The step-father was a native of Hawaii. He wanted to return to his home there, and, of course, to take his wife and step-daughter with him.

He was astonished and angry to learn that the laws of New Mexico prevented the removal of the little girl from New Mexico unless her father agreed or the court allowed it.

He said, "I have a right to live wherever I choose. This New Mexico law must be unconstitutional because it interferes with my rights."

He seemed surprised to learn that rights are not absolute--that rights often conflict.

In this instance his right to live where he wished conflicted with the little girl's right to spend regular and frequent time with her father and the father's right to spend regular and frequent time with his daughter.

One of the most common causes of post-divorce litigation is one parent's decision to move to another state, or even another city.

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.


For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--

Behavior

Children of divorce cases frequently pay a high price for their parents' inappropriate actions. One of the most damaging behaviors parents engage in is something we call "the ambivalent divorce". In these cases the parents go through multiple separations and reconciliations.

The children of these uncertain parents alternate between experiencing their worst nightmare (divorce) and their happiest dream (mom and dad staying together).

The severity of the damage caused by parental indecision seems to surprise some parents.

In one recent case the parents had been indecisive for more than six years. Their teenage son had lived with one parent and then the other during the separations. Sometimes the parents had lived in different states, so he had moved frequently. That had required him to change schools and friends as well as homes numerous times. His life had been one of chaos loss and disappointments. At the age of 15 he was a lonely, sad young man.

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--