We all know that getting a divorce is a terribly hard situation for the couples involved, but there's no doubt that divorce is even harder on the kids, which is why it’s important for parents to handle the situation correctly. What parents say to their children and what they do through the entire divorce process can make a world of difference.
Different Reactions From Different Children
Reactions to a divorce from the children depends a great deal on a child's age, their disposition, and the circumstances surrounding the ending of the marriage. It isn’t uncommon to see kids feeling scared and sad, while other kids become angry. It’s also quite common for children to act up and out because they have so many different feelings going on all at the same time. But parents can help. The first and most important thing that parents can do is to make sure there is as little tension as possible between the parents. As the whole family goes through the divorce, everyone needs to be patient, as each adjusts to the situation. Therefore, it’s crucial at this time that parents answer the children’s questions, respond honestly and pay attention to their children’s concerns. Even if the couple has been unhappy, children want the security of living with both parents. Very often they feel afraid about what’s going to happen to them. This is no time to make it worse by fighting with each other because fighting only adds to the stress the kids are already going through. If not handled well, the trauma of divorce can last for many years to come.
When to Tell Kids About Divorce
Don’t wait to talk to the kids about the divorce. Once you are clear on your plans to divorce, talk to your child about the upcoming decision to separate. It’s not going to be comfortable, so if you can, it’s good to have both parents together when you break the news to the children. You may be tempted to delay telling the children, but it’s usually best if you tell them right away. When you begin to address the situation, don’t blame each other or express feelings of anger towards each other, but instead try to explain why you are divorcing. Consider the age of the child and their ability to handle the situation, before speaking.
By StraightDivorce Staff
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For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at http://www.familylawmarin.com/--