Wednesday, November 12, 2008

When Parents Divorce and You're An Adult

Dear Christine,
I just found out my parents are getting a divorce which has totally caught me off guard as I thought they'd be married forever. Although I am a married adult with my own grown-up life, this is still really affecting me. I am sad for both of them and I want to step in and try to help them reconcile. On the other hand, I am a bit angry too because they are giving up on a 35 year commitment. I am torn and feel ten years old again. How do I handle this? - Adult Child of Divorce, 29, Atlanta

Dear Adult Child of Divorce,
Your parents getting divorced at any age is going to be difficult, so do not expect to be unfazed by this just because you are an adult. It's natural to have feelings of sadness, confusion, and anger. Your desire to help them stay together is also very normal and is probably two-fold. First, you hate to see their marriage end because it represents the foundation on which your life was built.
Second, by focusing on what you can do to get them to stay together, you can ease and/or avoid your unsettling feelings about them splitting apart. But here's the truth: you really do not know the intricacies of your parents' marriage and this separation may be the best possible thing for both of them...

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For more information, contact the Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at

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