Friday, July 16, 2010

Dealing With Controlling Behavior After You Leave

One of the hardest things about leaving abuse is that the controlling behavior may continue, even after you're out of the house. Even if you get a divorce, the games may continue. It's not easy to deal with, but the following article can give you insights to why it happens and tips on how to deal with it.

We have been through all the hurtful, horrible things our abusers have done to us. Possibly our children, too. We reached our limit, said ENOUGH and got out. This is wonderful, FREEDOM feels Great. Then the "new" set of games begin. These can be every bit as confusing and hard to deal with, especially when we are a bundle of emotions and trying to heal, to start with.

Once we leave, our abusers will do whatever they can think of, to try to gain back some control over us. They NEED a victim. They need someone to have power over and they will sink to any level to try to continue to hurt us, or promise us anything to get us back.

Let's start with them trying to get us back. In their minds we are their belongings, they don't want to admit when it is over, they don't want to feel they lost us. They are so sure of their power over us, they feel if they can say and do everything we want to hear and see, we will go back to them. Sadly enough, this often works.

To read this article in its entirety, please click here.

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at

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