Friday, February 12, 2010


For the newly divorced, facing Valentine’s Day can be a challenge. Yet rather than allowing the holiday to challenge you, challenge yourself to make the best of it. The right perspective and a little bit of planning can go a long way toward making this Valentine’s Day as painless and enjoyable as possible.

“Rather than mourning the loss of a relationship, celebrate your emergence into a world of new possibilities,” says Rosalind Sedacca, author of "How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! "Try to treat the holiday as a chance to look ahead rather than behind. As psychotherapist Alan Allard puts it, “try thinking of yourself as newly single versus newly divorced.”

Since Valentine’s Day is typically associated with getting gifts, some single people have a hard time coping with the idea of not receiving anything from an admirer or lover. “But instead of wallowing in how one is not receiving love, the newly-divorced can think about how they might extend love for someone else in need,” says Dr. Ellie Izzo, an experienced therapist, divorce coach, public speaker and author of "The Bridge to I Am: Rapid Advance Psychotherapy."

“The key is to become involved in some activity that is charitable in its orientation and takes the blue person out of ruminating about their own personal loneliness. Reach out to other single people who are struggling. There are divorce groups, Parents without Partners, Domestic Abuse Shelters, homeless shelters, crisis nurseries, nursing homes, etc., all brimming with single and/or lonely people. Bring them flowers, candy, cookies, stuffed animals.
Written by: Mandy Vemulapalli
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For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at


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