Friday, February 12, 2010


Feeling or labeling yourself a victim of your divorce is one of the most disastrous moves you can make. It will prevent you from moving forward into a new life. Victimhood renders you powerless.

To create a new life after your divorce takes a person who is fully responsible for their past, present and future. Being responsible means having control over one’s life and that is what it takes to both recover from the emotional wounds of a divorce as well as plan for your new life.

If you consider yourself a victim then you believe that you had little to do with what happened to you. You take no responsibility. The responsibility is someone else’s and that leaves you with no power. Victims blame someone else. Blame absolves them of their part in the dissolution of their marriage. Blame keeps them stuck in the pain of the past and their divorce.

The Futility of Blaming Your Ex

It is so much easier to place blame on someone else then accept personal responsibility. The fact is that two people inhabit all marriages. Those two people are co-creators of their marriage and their divorce. Even if one of the partners was unfaithful or a liar, there are always signs along the way that we either refused to see or to acknowledge. If we are in denial about all the warning signs along the way, we can only look to ourselves for lack of some responsible action.
Written by: Shelley Stile
To view this article in its entirety, click here:

For more information, contact the Family Law Offices of Renee M. Marcelle at (415) 456-4444, or online at


1 comment:

Brian Daniel said...

Shelley is right. You have to view what you can change and not change.
You CAN CHANGE how you will live your life after your splitting up with a partner.
What do YOU want to do? Keeping busy with NEW things to-do in your rest-of-life will help you make a happier and more enjoyable life for yourself!!
There's more in my book if you are interested! Thanks for allowing me to maybe help someone here. Brian Daniel

A NEW Positive Divorce Recovery Book for Your Website Members

I know that you may prefer your own materials for your website here, but if it is OK for me to pitch my book here too, I would really appreciate a chance here, and THANKS for that!

I was hoping you might have some interest in my book too as another source of help. I can offer you affiliate sales through my website and Pay Pal account and can return an extra discount to you and your members in addition to my own website offer below.

I have just published a book on divorce recovery called "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!" You can search "upside of divorce" on Amazon and read the great reviews I have there. One of my top 5-Star ratings is from Tracy, who is the owner of a national web support group called Woman’s Divorce (com) and has used parts of my chapters for her members going through divorce.

My book discusses my own divorce and helps my readers get through the most common and difficult downsides so that they can then “see” the many more UPSIDES there are in their divorce or separation. My book spends most of its chapters on the positive ways to move on to a happier and more enjoyable rest-of-life.

I have sold over a hundred copies locally and received the same great feedback, including a many or so to various divorce recovery websites, group workshops and libraries.

I am hoping you may want to buy some copies too to provide some other good help and support to your divorced members of your website. Or perhaps they may want to buy their own copy as well.

For just $12 or so, my book could be another reference book or a gift of help from you to your website members and other family and friends suffering through their divorce or separation. I’m sure most, if not all of them, will find some good help in my book.
Book Discounts are available on my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services (com) where you can save $4 to $7 off Amazon’s costs per book.

If there are other people you think I should contact or those who may want to contact me, please let me know.

Again, Thanks for a chance here to help someone. Sincerely, Brian Daniel